its 5:29am and once again i have a case of insomnia. Does this madness ever end? Today was an ok day even tho it really began at 10pm on account of thats what time i got up. In need of some sexual relations like asap! Everyone is sleep and the only one probably up is the LAST person I wanna be with right now... up talkin about love... hmmm... something ive always wanted.. got it...and now Im dodgin it like its a motherfucking bill collector or a jehovahs witness... Its funny because even tho Ive been dodgin it, this sneaky bitch is slowly sneakin up on me again and won't quit chasing me. Infactuation mixed with a bit of confusion, admiration, lust...all chasing me at once.... I care about someone. But im afraid to allow myself to feel more. He could very well be the answers to which ive been seeking.. MY OXYGEN... mixed emotions that Im going to keep it in the pocket until ive decided what to do with it.
He is everything I've always wanted and needed but I dont WANT it right now? Ass Backwards... But my inevitable truth. I don't want my insecurities to keep him from finding the love he's always deserved. Have I been wat he's waiting for and what he's needed? Maybe... But Im not sure I'm willing to find out. The outcome could be dangerous!
Over and Out... Until Laterrrrrrrrr
Monday, July 21, 2008
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Itchy Boobs and Shitty Midgets (JOKE)
Ok so maybe i do have a slight obsession with midgets. But i dont think its serious or anything like that. I dont think id like go and collect em or marry one and have his possible midget babies but... hey I like em! Its funny because everytime I come up with a scenario...midgets are never too far behind. Like I asked a friend would she shit on a midgets chest for 8 grand... I mean... you may think thats weird...but it was pretty fuckin hilarious to me... i mean... 8 grand...would you? I think I may be the only person who wouldnt do it. I just couldnt shit on a midget... theyre so cute... a face only a parent could love...who would dare defile a midget and shit upon his fragile bare chest?? Just to think about the face he would make when it carpumpled (yes i make up words) upon his chest. The odor alone would send this poor midget in a frenzy... Ok and as for itchy boobs... people get it... thats life.... its 8:33 am and im still not sleep..will this madness ever end... **invisioning midgets dancing across the screen and for a brief second I'm in a euphoric state**
Decisions
I lay here unable to concentrate
With my mind wandering
unable to hold the thoughts once trained
to keep focus....these thoughts...
Dispersed thoughts... just wont keep still
they move around in my mind
so that I dont hold onto
my own memories
I try to grab a hold of these ideas
of you and I
but when I undo these fists
theyre gone
as if they never existed
my eyes couldnt conceive
the things that ive seen but...
My heart stays persistant
to keep your name listed but
my mind just resists it
now vacant for only dreams to dwell
silence floods my conscience mind
and things Ive always wanted to say to you
disappear
once friends
but now gone way past platonic ties
was it mere lust...filled with hopeful wishing
or merely lies
and it comes to no surprise that..
you lie next to me wondering
if we made the right decision....
I lay next to you
as a friend unsure of what the future holds
but was it wrong?
have we done what feels so right
is so right....
or have we just opened up a can of worms
that neither one of us are ready for?
Decisions
XperienceDaPoet © 2008
With my mind wandering
unable to hold the thoughts once trained
to keep focus....these thoughts...
Dispersed thoughts... just wont keep still
they move around in my mind
so that I dont hold onto
my own memories
I try to grab a hold of these ideas
of you and I
but when I undo these fists
theyre gone
as if they never existed
my eyes couldnt conceive
the things that ive seen but...
My heart stays persistant
to keep your name listed but
my mind just resists it
now vacant for only dreams to dwell
silence floods my conscience mind
and things Ive always wanted to say to you
disappear
once friends
but now gone way past platonic ties
was it mere lust...filled with hopeful wishing
or merely lies
and it comes to no surprise that..
you lie next to me wondering
if we made the right decision....
I lay next to you
as a friend unsure of what the future holds
but was it wrong?
have we done what feels so right
is so right....
or have we just opened up a can of worms
that neither one of us are ready for?
Decisions
XperienceDaPoet © 2008
Welcome to My Life
I'm up at 6:50am trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with my life. Besides insomnia, the last few days have been filled with life changing decisions that I'm not sure I'm ready for. So what do you do when you don't exactly know where to turn? Turn to God of course and ask for some clarity in all of this life's bullshit. Not exactly sure what the plan is.... but I'm sure that somewhere between sleeping with a friend who I hold dear and possibly ruining our friendship and being cursed out by some random lady who thinks I'm sleeping with her husband {im not by the way lol} is mos def. throwing me off my journey.... So what is there to do now? Just wait and hope that I'll get the answers to which I seek or drown myself in a fifth of segrems gin. Both sound not that bad I guess... Well anyway... Welcome to My Life... there will be some things you love...some you hate...and some u just dont understand...but thats me!
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