Living Life....UNBARRED!

Wow...

I can't believe its been three years since I've written a blog. I'm going to do much better about posting in the future. SO much has happened in the last three years. Where do I even start. Well I accomplished my life long dream of becoming a published author. My book, Unbarred: My Neo Hip-Hop soul is a smooth collection of urban-intellectual era poetry that will blow your mind! It is available on Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com for ONLY $8.95! It's also available via the Kindle for $4.95. Click Here to purchase it!

For all those who have been side-by-side through this journey with me, I just want to sincerely thank you for all your love, prayers, and support. Although this book is only on small scale now, I have NO doubt in my mind that one day it will do great things. Share with a friend :)

Updates

The end of 2009 seems to be going great. It just lets me know that greater things are to come in the new year. I know every year someone says "This is going to be my year!" Even I've fallen prey of that line, only to find that I'm stuck in the same ole place. But I have a feeling that 2010 will prove to be different. So many things I have going on right now. I'm writing for a few wonderful sites making sure that XperienceJ definitely becomes a household name. Shout out to 24hourhiphop.com, KeepItTrill.com, Afroglitz, Amplified Minds, The Wickedest Times...More to come!!!

So far so good, networking proves to be one of my strongest qualities this year and I am definitely taking advantage of that! I am working on a mixtape and an album with my brother B.Rose. While we are not sure where "3rd Charm"(Xperience, B.Rose, Miss Toya) "Phresh Air" (B.Rose and Xperience) is mos def prepared to take this game by storm! Our single "Copycat" produced by UrbanMiracle is getting a lot of buzz amongst BlogtalkRadio and was even chosen to be on a Coast2Coast Mixtape.

My songwriting group is getting a lot of breakthroughs. Penizilln Productions is definitely gonna make its stamp on this industry! We have our myspace page up and are in the process of creating our own website. We have had the privilege to work with some awesome talent and look forward to bigger and better things in 2010.

For those of you wondering, yes! I will get back to my first love POETRY. When I get the chance I'm going to ATTEMPT to post up all 600 or so of my poems to my own personal blog and/or website so you guys can always have a little bit of Xperience!!!

I am currently working on a novel and a comical self help book with my sister Teedy! Trust me Steve Harvey aint ready!!! It will be awesome. Just looking forward to all the wonderful things God has in store for me. Thanks to everyone who has been 100% by my side on this journey! It starting to pay off :-)

I will give you updates periodically and post new music and things of that nature. Thanks for all the support lovelies!


X!

She Got It!

You guys have the privelege of getting a snippet of my songwriting company's skills. Check out "She Got It" performed by TP!!! He is doing big things right now. Look out for him in "Stomp The Yard 2" Homie is very talented. Friend from way back, got mad love.... Click The Link Below

http://www.zshare.net/audio/68430577654cff74/

Let's Make History.. to check out the rest of the snippets and to see what my songwriting company can do, check us out at :

http://www.myspace.com/penizillnproductions

Shout Out To Penizilln Productions and my Partners J and Sin!!!

No Where Featuring Breezy

http://www.zshare.net/audio/67264725ee2a4e33/

My latest joint... I must admit it's different from what I'm used too, but its o so dope! So click the link and get your music on..ya dig?

Playing The Role

Deserves You More - Musiq Soulchild

So im kinda in this situation where "WE" are doing everything that couples do, yet that official title is non existent. It's starting to cause problems... Catching feelings is a hard thing especially when its been a long time since someone made you feel that way.... I'm silently fighting for this...I deserve it... to love and be loved.... damn... i remember the days...it felt so damn good

I want that Back...thought it was coming...But Ive realized one thing....

WE ARENT IN A RELATIONSHIP!!!! you know...

We as women sometimes have the habit of staking claim to something that doesn't belong to us.
Somehow we get caught up in these situations where we are playing the role of "wifey" without the official title. Now, if you do this and can handle the repercussions of having a "cut buddy" then by all means do what you do, and do it well! However, if you have fallen victim to being stuck in a "relationship" that isn't truly a relationship, you need to get it together. You cannot expect for a man to make the next step if you are already giving up the ass, cooking dinner, washing his clothes, etc. Explain what the point in making you his "girl" or "wife" is?

Why Buy The Cow When You Can Get The Milk For Free???

We live in the days of Everybody getting free milk and it's getting outa hand. Ladies you can't be mad a man who is doing what he does, if you haven't set any boundaries with him. If he is simply a cut buddy, leave it at that. If he is just a friend, please, just stay friends. Once you cross that line, its very difficult to go back and try to put these restrictions in place. You find yourself doing all the things that his "woman" would do, yet you still get put in that "good friend" category. When his phone rings and its another female, you get upset, yet you never discussed with him the dynamics of your situation.

BIG MISTAKE

When you meet a guy, or if you get involved with one of your friends, it is important that you two have a common understanding of the situation. If not somoene will end up catching feelings and get hurt in the end, and you could ultimately ruin a good friendship. It's best to just put everything on the table, and go from there.

Ladies please stop falling victim, I too have fallen prey to this and it just needs to end. If you cant be a FWB (friends with benefits) then don't pretend too. Just tell your partner what it is you what and need and if he cant fulfill those needs, kick his ass to the curb!

PERIOD!

Chocolate High

Chocolate High [India Arie 2009] - India Arie Feat. Musiq Soulchild

sweetened syrupy sensuality
stoned sobriety
saccharine skinned seduction
his chocolate goodness
sends me in a candied frenzy
deliriously addicted
craving this cocoa
like a dope fiend
pleasure seeking
habits
overdosing on a dream-like
reality called
YOU
brown skin
"im not sure where yours begins, im not sure where mine ends"
seeking a
savory silky supply of your
chocolate
wasnt even a big fan
but damn
got me trying to give you a piece-
- of exactly who i am
succulent sweetness with just enough
bitterness to make me come back
candy-coated emotion
sweet tooth kicking from this sugar attack
hershey got me jonesin
for just one more taste
got me licking finger tips
as i over indulge in this
chocolate love
insatiable
i want it all
craving these homegrown ingredients
that you possess
got me spacing
tripping on X -tasy
Euphoria is close to here
"If we make each other happy then we just cant lose"
I cant help but want my own permanent stash
supply me
wanting to be eternally inebriated
allow me
to indulge
in this Chocolate High

Reflection

Sailing - Avant

standing before this mirror
stripped of all my clothes
as it reveals all of
my flaws and insecurities
i smile at the things that make me
complete
from the curvature of my hips
to the fullness of my breast
embracing me...phenomenally
mya aint never lied...
as im eying my thighs
chocolate skin beautifully placed
i stare mesmerized by the depth
inside my brown eyes
Naked
Bare
Revealed
Unveiled
watching my reflection stare back at me
as a euphoric feeling basks in my physical beauty
...sailing
vibing to the smooth sounds
in the background
rubbing me...
loving me...
non sexually....
yet so sensually
enjoying all the makings of me
as my hips softly dip
winding to this slow grind
admiring the arch of my back
wishing i could stop all time...
if only i could sit here forever
freed from all the adversity of
just being... not me..but just being
exciting without fault
embracing every stretch mark
every single blemish
i was beautifully created
God smiled when He finished
and today... i smile as well
because ive found that place
that sets me free
mentally
emotionally
physically
spiritually
...im loving me
im on this long journey called
a fantasy
free from rejection
"...when im sailing ....it takes me away"
and when i return i find....
that im simply staring back
at my own reflection
and thats the greatest trip ill ever take
..the one on the inside of me

The Economical Hoe....

I was discussing this in a group that im in..two questions arose...what is a hoe? and why are promiscuous females labeled hoes but the males are labeled players?

this is how I broke it all down...

point # 1:

u know.. a REAL Hoe...solicits sex for money.... i think the real HOES get a bad rep cuz u got these Hoe Impersonators giving up the merchandise for free... I dont have a problem with REAL HOES.... its all economics.. they have a business, they sell their product and making money.. have no problem with these Sexual Entrepreneurs (((ooh poem idea)))... Product= pussy/ass/mouth etc... and Real Hoes are depreciating because you got Hoe Impersonators undercuttin them by takin the same Product and selling it for cheaper and/or giving it away for free to every Tom, Dick, or Harry <<<--- The consumer... Its all supply and demand... Me being the consumer wont buy something that someone is giving away for free..and there lieth the problem!!! so all u REAL HOES.. get these perpetrating ass hoes off the market so you can make a vigorous comeback!

point # 2


oh.. but as far as men and women.. anybody can be a real hoe if theyre selling it.. now theres a difference between being promiscuous or simply loving to have sex.. I enjoy sex a lot... and sometimes the same person gets old..so u gotta get ya something new (but that doesnt mean u just give it up to any and everybody..have some class).. the whole perception of the man who have many women being a pimp and the woman having a lot of guys being the hoe dates back centuries ago and is simply due to our male dominated society... its of course a double standard but... if im going to be labeled one.. i too label the guy who is layin down with me... but I wouldnt call a person with no regard a hoe unless they were sellin it..they are indeed however NASTY and impersonating one and should be locked away...

Random Love Thoughts

its 5:29am and once again i have a case of insomnia. Does this madness ever end? Today was an ok day even tho it really began at 10pm on account of thats what time i got up. In need of some sexual relations like asap! Everyone is sleep and the only one probably up is the LAST person I wanna be with right now... up talkin about love... hmmm... something ive always wanted.. got it...and now Im dodgin it like its a motherfucking bill collector or a jehovahs witness... Its funny because even tho Ive been dodgin it, this sneaky bitch is slowly sneakin up on me again and won't quit chasing me. Infactuation mixed with a bit of confusion, admiration, lust...all chasing me at once.... I care about someone. But im afraid to allow myself to feel more. He could very well be the answers to which ive been seeking.. MY OXYGEN... mixed emotions that Im going to keep it in the pocket until ive decided what to do with it.

He is everything I've always wanted and needed but I dont WANT it right now? Ass Backwards... But my inevitable truth. I don't want my insecurities to keep him from finding the love he's always deserved. Have I been wat he's waiting for and what he's needed? Maybe... But Im not sure I'm willing to find out. The outcome could be dangerous!


Over and Out... Until Laterrrrrrrrr

Itchy Boobs and Shitty Midgets (JOKE)

Ok so maybe i do have a slight obsession with midgets. But i dont think its serious or anything like that. I dont think id like go and collect em or marry one and have his possible midget babies but... hey I like em! Its funny because everytime I come up with a scenario...midgets are never too far behind. Like I asked a friend would she shit on a midgets chest for 8 grand... I mean... you may think thats weird...but it was pretty fuckin hilarious to me... i mean... 8 grand...would you? I think I may be the only person who wouldnt do it. I just couldnt shit on a midget... theyre so cute... a face only a parent could love...who would dare defile a midget and shit upon his fragile bare chest?? Just to think about the face he would make when it carpumpled (yes i make up words) upon his chest. The odor alone would send this poor midget in a frenzy... Ok and as for itchy boobs... people get it... thats life.... its 8:33 am and im still not sleep..will this madness ever end... **invisioning midgets dancing across the screen and for a brief second I'm in a euphoric state**

Decisions

I lay here unable to concentrate
With my mind wandering
unable to hold the thoughts once trained
to keep focus....these thoughts...
Dispersed thoughts... just wont keep still
they move around in my mind
so that I dont hold onto
my own memories
I try to grab a hold of these ideas
of you and I
but when I undo these fists
theyre gone
as if they never existed
my eyes couldnt conceive
the things that ive seen but...
My heart stays persistant
to keep your name listed but
my mind just resists it
now vacant for only dreams to dwell
silence floods my conscience mind
and things Ive always wanted to say to you
disappear
once friends
but now gone way past platonic ties
was it mere lust...filled with hopeful wishing
or merely lies
and it comes to no surprise that..
you lie next to me wondering
if we made the right decision....
I lay next to you
as a friend unsure of what the future holds
but was it wrong?
have we done what feels so right
is so right....
or have we just opened up a can of worms
that neither one of us are ready for?

Decisions

XperienceDaPoet © 2008

Welcome to My Life

I'm up at 6:50am trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with my life. Besides insomnia, the last few days have been filled with life changing decisions that I'm not sure I'm ready for. So what do you do when you don't exactly know where to turn? Turn to God of course and ask for some clarity in all of this life's bullshit. Not exactly sure what the plan is.... but I'm sure that somewhere between sleeping with a friend who I hold dear and possibly ruining our friendship and being cursed out by some random lady who thinks I'm sleeping with her husband {im not by the way lol} is mos def. throwing me off my journey.... So what is there to do now? Just wait and hope that I'll get the answers to which I seek or drown myself in a fifth of segrems gin. Both sound not that bad I guess... Well anyway... Welcome to My Life... there will be some things you love...some you hate...and some u just dont understand...but thats me!